Everything is an experiment.
What we’ve learned as children enables us to function, but at times not thrive in daily life. As adults, relearning is hard.
I want to be task oriented. This is one of my strengths, but I want to relearn. For me, the reward of an accomplishment (checking something off the damned list) is a huge incentive. Doesn’t matter if I write it on a dirty napkin, if it’s a to-do, the world is not at peace until it’s done. Something else I developed was the tendency to rush. Pure impatience. All I want is for the task to be finished. Do I understand the extent of what I’m doing? Doesn’t matter. I’ll plow through until I can say it’s completed. The process has never been my strength. Often I even find it difficult to care about what I’m doing, I’m focused on the end result.
I want to focus instead on relearning how to engage in tasks fully, not as a means to an end, but as a means onto themselves. Like listening to music, the end isn’t the goal. Rather, the pleasure is in the process.
This is simple, and applicable on a life and death scale.
Growing up, I slowly had this process of realizing that all the things around me that people had told me were just the natural way things were, the way things always would be, they weren’t natural at all. They were things that could be changed, and they were things that, more importantly, were wrong and should change, and once I realized that, there was really no going back.